Do I Know You

I heard a little snippet that a couple of radio personalities who recently asked their listeners, name a four word statement that would ruin your Thanksgiving meal. One chimed in,” The turkey is frozen.” or how about this one, “Let’s talk about politics.” and another mind you this one is my favorite, “What is this called?” sounds like something someone would say to me. I got a good chuckle out of that one. Like clockwork my four word snippet went like this, “Do I know you?” At first I thought it sounded funny but then my paranoia set in.

What would happen if God said that to me? Let’s put two and two together for terror sake.

In Scripture, everyone is gathered around the table for Jesus’s wedding banquet. Everyone was wearing bright white robes except for one man. God asks the man, “Friend where is your wedding attire? ” he stated… I don’t know. “God got ticked… told His servants to cast him out into the cold; dark outer abyss. I’m not sure if he was mutilated or not. Obviously I’m not reading this verbatum. I can’t remember where it is in the New Testament but it’s there. Maybe someone can help me find it? Please?

Now humor me… what if the reason why he was at the banquet; in the first place, because he tried to enter through by his own merit. By following all the rules a perfectionist by nature. Instead of humbling himself , and saying God please forgive me and my nakedness I’ve tried getting here on my own merits and I see that I need your forgiveness something I can’t do myself…so that I could receive wedding attire by Jesus. Even at that moment if he humbled himself I believe God would have saved him! Oh the grace and mercies of a God of second chances. Why else would He have asked the question in the first place? He is an all knowing God after all. He even gave Judus a chance to come clean before satan entered into judus’s body and before he could even think about what he did it was too late.

I’m an artist. Self perfectionism is a thing. I’m asian… a society bent on attaining perfection… I’m also that child who was beaten and beaten over and over again until I attained perfectionism in whatever my parents thought their ideal looked like. “Then I started to ask the question… Why can’t I do anything right which propelled me towards trying my hardest to be right. I even get anal if I don’t get my tasks done that are in my planner every day. Now you see why These words by God terrifies me. Am I trying to live as a perfect Christian?

A quick pro-quo. I believe Jesus as God made flesh. without a sin nature. A perfect sinless God in flesh that bared everyone’s sin, past .. present… and future on a cross and raised up on the third day. I believe God is molding me to be like His Son just like He is molding every one of His children like you would to your children.

I don’t want this lifestyle or this mentality. it’s killing me physically, mentally, Spiritually…and whatever else that ends with a double ly. I feel like a broken record and cry of my depravity. Does this make me prideful? How do I make it stop!!! Will it be too late for me too?

I take heart when the Apostle Paul went through a similar state of perfectionism and stubbornness. After-all He was a Jew above Jews. Persecuting the Christians in the highest sence until He was kicked off his high horse, literally speaking. Jesus I need to be kicked off my high horse too. Can I at least sit at the kiddy table? Can I have the humble pie with milk? Jesus if you haven’t given up on me make me like You in the way you loved. Perfect love casts out all fear. Forgive me for everything because I’m sick and wretched. Let me bare good fruits that only Holy Spirit can produce in me. Thank you Jesus.

“God resists the proud, but gives Grace to the humble.” James 4:6